Did you know that it's all or nothing, this trusting-God thing? Either you commit or you skirt the issue and flirt with religion, which will not serve you well, in my humble opinion.
Wise words from a wise, godly woman: The will of God is not something you add to your life. It's a course you choose. ~Elisabeth Elliot
I made a commitment to the Lord in 1978, and I was--and still am--all in! I couldn't imagine life any other way. It's a grand adventure where I simply must follow His lead, act upon the nudging of His spirit, and trust, trust, trust. I hope you've made a similar commitment, friend. It makes life that much richer, and then in the end, you get heaven too!